“We are checking”

Pre Season

  1. Promo video with a slow pitstop

  2. “Box box …. no stay out” for Carlos minutes into running.

Bahrain

  1. No fresh tires for Leclerc in Q3

  2. Extremely dangerous brake failure for Leclerc for the entire race

  3. Carlos’ overheating + “We are checking”

Jeddah

  1. Sainz catches appendicitis

  2. Leclerc has bad pitstop and loses P2 as a result

Australia

  1. We are checking (Actually a pretty good race, Ferrari 1-2)

Suzuka

  1. Leclerc has terrible setup in Qualifying. Still has an amazing run from P8 to P3 with a one stop. Absolute masterclass despite the team’s best efforts to sabotage him.

  2. Leclerc forced to give up P3 for Sainz for seemingly no reason.

Leclerc Suzuka

China

  1. Ferrari 1v1 during sprint and race, almost bottled it.

Miami

  1. Sainz turned into a terrorist (ruined Piastris race)

  2. Usual Leclerc bottlings

Emilia Romagna

(officially known as the Formula 1 MSC Cruises Gran Premio del Made in Italy e dell’Emilia-Romagna 2024)

  1. Not a bad race, usual ferrari shenanigans during quali (looking promising through Q1 and Q2 but bottling it in Q3).

Monaco

  1. No words, absolute masterclass from Charles Marc Herve Percerval Leclerc

  1. Sainz had puncture on lap 1 but otherwise a strategic masterclass from Ferrari (ignore the fact there were zero pitstops).

  2. “We are not interested”

Canada

Breaking the Monaco Curse came at a cost, in Canada Ferrari had an absolute Disasterclass™.

  1. Leclerc “Box Box shananigans came back, with Ferrari bringing him in for Inters while the track was still dry, throwing him to the back of the grid, getting lapped by even the Haas cars.

  2. Ferrari then brought him in a second time to “reboot” the car due to expected engine issues. The issues were resolved, however Charles was now two entire laps behind the front of the pack. Eventually Leclerc decided to retire the car.

  3. Sainz span into his future teammate Albono.

Spain

  1. Uneventful race.

Austria

  1. Leclerc suffers wing damage on lap 1, has to pit and is now last.

  2. Ferrari’s upgrades somehow send them backwards in performance.

British

  1. Ferrari decides to downgrade their car mid-season by using an old floor, immediately losing grip and pace.
  2. Strategy team once again plays 4D chess against themselves, somehow managing to mess up both drivers’ races.

Dutch

  1. Classic Ferrari tyre mismanagement—no one knows what’s happening, least of all the pit wall.
  2. Both cars suffer mysterious engine modes causing temporary power loss, casually blamed on “track conditions.”

Italian

  1. Leclerc MASTERCLASS.
  2. Sainz forgets pit entry rules, skips over the pit entry apron in classic Ferrari fashion.

Azerbaijan

  1. Ferrari’s favourite pastime returns: engine reliability roulette. Both drivers spend the race nervously asking if the engine will survive.
  2. A botched double-stack pitstop sees mechanics frantically waving tyres around the pit box.

Singapore

  1. Ferrari engineers attempt a bold setup change that makes the car slower—peak Ferrari innovation.
  2. Pit wall spends entire race confused about tyre strategies, ending with both drivers stuck in midfield.

United States

  1. Charles Leclerc masterclass.

Mexico

  1. Ferrari’s strategy software crashes mid-race; team forced to revert to handwritten notes, causing predictable confusion.
  2. Sainz wins anyway, proving Ferrari performs best without any strategy input at all.

Brazil

  1. Ferrari forgets rain is wet, leading to wrong tyre choices for both cars in changing conditions.
  2. Leclerc ends up in the gravel after optimistic team orders send him on slicks during heavy rain.

Las Vegas

  1. Meh.

Qatar

  1. Ferrari arrives unprepared for extreme heat conditions, immediately struggles with cooling issues.
  2. Both drivers finish outside the points after engine modes are aggressively dialed back to prevent another meltdown.

Abu Dhabi

  1. Leclerc masterclass again, almost winning the championship.
  2. Sainz is nowhere to be found.

Simply lovely.